If you have not heard this I suggest listening to it. I don't give a fuck about politics or whatever meaning you may think it has towards our plight as a country. While you are listening to it as an American, it is just as meaningful if heard by a Palestinian or an Asian. Not everything is made for Americans.
I just like the harmonic swings, the gently pauses, the melodic way in which the tones dance across my ears, and the gentle pulsing sensations of the pressure waves it produces.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The fuck?
Ah, Easter, the day we all pay homage to the Bunny who rescued christ from the caves of despair by vividly decorating the deceased, bastard offspring of hens.
PS, I didn't make that.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Yes, it truly is
I saw this on reddit today and I just had to share. I love when things can induce a sincere belly laugh.
Game graphics update
A few posts back I alerted you to the fact that I was doing a graphics overhaul for a game called "The Farplane Wars" I have a few very early phase renders of how one of the enemy ships is coming along.
These were done in Maya with basic materials and almost no tweaks, also the light and shading were basic with only minor adjustments. I pumped these out only to see how they coming along and to show the game developer.
Progress is slower than I would hope, but I am juggling so many more things than I thought I would be at this stage in my life.
No Job and no one to answer to and it seems as if I have more to do and less time than I ever did when I was sacrificing my 40hours a week to a company. It is much more satisfying though as all that time is consumed now with things I love and not the mindless clanking of corporate cogs.
These were done in Maya with basic materials and almost no tweaks, also the light and shading were basic with only minor adjustments. I pumped these out only to see how they coming along and to show the game developer.
No Job and no one to answer to and it seems as if I have more to do and less time than I ever did when I was sacrificing my 40hours a week to a company. It is much more satisfying though as all that time is consumed now with things I love and not the mindless clanking of corporate cogs.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Curious?
Where did all my readers go?
I was getting comments on every post and then nothing. If my content has just dropped off that's fine, I understand, it just seemed pretty drastic. I didn't feel as if I changed my subject matter at all.
Oh well, I guess the ride couldn't last forever.
I was getting comments on every post and then nothing. If my content has just dropped off that's fine, I understand, it just seemed pretty drastic. I didn't feel as if I changed my subject matter at all.
Oh well, I guess the ride couldn't last forever.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tortured
So, I did this MASSIVE inking yesterday. Took me all day. Started at about 9am and finished inking about 4:30pm, and that was just the first panel. I started coloring it but didn't want to burn myself out so I got up and took a nap on my recliner. When I returned to the computer it had reboot to install updates and in my marathon run of work I guess I never bothered to save the work (although I swear I did, I am insane about saving work) Anyway, whole day wasted.
On a good note the practice was great.
On a bad note though, I am still pretty terrible.
I am trying to jump right into this whole "write my own manga" scenario and I really don't have the proper foundation to do it the way I want. It really is tearing me apart inside. I was seriously so depressed the other day that I was in tears because I couldn't draw my main character. When I close my eyes I see him but I am just lacking the skill to get him out. On top of that, I can't even see the female counterpart in my head. Possibly the most important and meaningful character in the whole story and I can't even see what she looks like.
Fuck.
I considered paying someone to draw it for me, I would just sketch out all the scenes, but that will leave me feeling empty and dissatisfied. I want this to be my own. I practice every fucking day, all day, literally. I draw on my computer, I draw on my sketchbooks, I draw on my laptop, I draw while watching TV, I draw while falling asleep. I read about drawing while I am not drawing, I draw things I am not good at drawing over and over and over again til I am satisfied with it, then I draw it some more. Then, when I go to draw MY pieces, they just look like crap.
I see some people I know, that I grew up with and they just were always able to do it and it makes me think that perhaps I was just not meant to do this. They have been doing it all their lives and I am starting so late how can I ever expect to accomplish anything? If I wasn't meant for this, then how the fuck am I going to get this goddamn story out of my head. I don't want to just write it.
I guess I will just keep at it.
I will keep losing sleep over it.
and one day,
I'll have my Manga.
On a good note the practice was great.
On a bad note though, I am still pretty terrible.
I am trying to jump right into this whole "write my own manga" scenario and I really don't have the proper foundation to do it the way I want. It really is tearing me apart inside. I was seriously so depressed the other day that I was in tears because I couldn't draw my main character. When I close my eyes I see him but I am just lacking the skill to get him out. On top of that, I can't even see the female counterpart in my head. Possibly the most important and meaningful character in the whole story and I can't even see what she looks like.
Fuck.
I considered paying someone to draw it for me, I would just sketch out all the scenes, but that will leave me feeling empty and dissatisfied. I want this to be my own. I practice every fucking day, all day, literally. I draw on my computer, I draw on my sketchbooks, I draw on my laptop, I draw while watching TV, I draw while falling asleep. I read about drawing while I am not drawing, I draw things I am not good at drawing over and over and over again til I am satisfied with it, then I draw it some more. Then, when I go to draw MY pieces, they just look like crap.
I see some people I know, that I grew up with and they just were always able to do it and it makes me think that perhaps I was just not meant to do this. They have been doing it all their lives and I am starting so late how can I ever expect to accomplish anything? If I wasn't meant for this, then how the fuck am I going to get this goddamn story out of my head. I don't want to just write it.
I guess I will just keep at it.
I will keep losing sleep over it.
and one day,
I'll have my Manga.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
So Sick.
I'm losing it.
and by losing it I mean lost it.
I'm sick, sick in ways I can't even discuss with people who know me.
When I look at people, and think of the day to day routine that they trudge through, I feel violent. I was never meant for this life of mediocrity and routine.
I was shopping with the woman I live with this weekend. We needed some things.
Coffee
Water
Milk
I sat in the car in the parking lot for a moment and watched as the patrons entered and exited.
I filled with disgust.
Not for them personally, but rather their complacence with the ordinary.
How would they respond if threatened? Would they cower, cry, run? How many would stand and fight. How many have already? Which one of these automatons could place their instincts ahead of their sloth?
The reliance that they feel on knowing that everything will be okay, and that it could never happen to me has stripped them of their ability to live.
I feel sick.
I was not meant for this kind of life.
and by losing it I mean lost it.
I'm sick, sick in ways I can't even discuss with people who know me.
When I look at people, and think of the day to day routine that they trudge through, I feel violent. I was never meant for this life of mediocrity and routine.
I was shopping with the woman I live with this weekend. We needed some things.
Coffee
Water
Milk
I sat in the car in the parking lot for a moment and watched as the patrons entered and exited.
I filled with disgust.
Not for them personally, but rather their complacence with the ordinary.
How would they respond if threatened? Would they cower, cry, run? How many would stand and fight. How many have already? Which one of these automatons could place their instincts ahead of their sloth?
The reliance that they feel on knowing that everything will be okay, and that it could never happen to me has stripped them of their ability to live.
I feel sick.
I was not meant for this kind of life.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Every day, farther away
I'm praying for rain
I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down.
I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Chapter One, Never Again
P.3 F1
...my world is a endless pit of gray without her.
no names,
no faces.
No Mercy.
Only when we were together did we have a reason to keep going.
no names,
no faces.
No Mercy.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I'll take just what I came for
So glad to see you well, overcome themCompletely silent now
With heaven's help
You've cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead
Recall the deeds as if they're all
Someone else's
Atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn
Before us all
So glad to see you well
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead
With your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin'
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin' down
(I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends)
[repeated]
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo's slippin' down to choke you now
Today is the Day.
The Legacy comes to my home.
I may just have to finish working on the theater for this one...
I may just have to finish working on the theater for this one...
Monday, April 4, 2011
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