Friday, May 27, 2011

Hey look, My First Post

Everyone on Omegle is an Idiot.

I love that one.

For some reason, there is like, no traffic to my original posts. Most were concerning my encounters on Omegle. When I first got sick and started staying home form work I would find some solace in talking to people online. Well, sort of. I don't have friends, so I went searching for company to fill the room with noise. What I found was a cesspool of horny degenerate morons (myself included). I would encounter so many humorous situations that i would have sworn that people were setting them up.

Sadly, they were not. I started capping the conversations I thought were funny and that is when I decided to open this page. I guess originally it was going to be a humor site for Omegle funnies. I had a few saved up. I started posting and I gotta say, I was a little surprised when I didn't immediately garner the praise of hundreds upon thousands of followers. I mean, I literally made my first post and then watched the stats page for the imminent influx of worshipers who were sure to see how humorous and insightful I was.

Dumbfounded by the lack of media attention and critical acclaim I resorted to booze and sobbing into my comforter as I tried to sleep away the humiliation of my failure.

Strangely enough, I did manage to see a few readers after I sold my soul and my house and a 1993 American Fender P-Bass as well as my first born daughter to Satan. I also did some promoting that I am not too proud of in the form of a 4chan blogger thread.

I grew to love my handful of readers. Although I don't know any of your names or faces or your likes or dislikes or even bother to comment back on your pages, I do love you! I would die for you guys. Well, maybe not die, but I would allow myself to come to serious harm for you... Actually come to think of it I probably wouldn't do that either, but I would definitely go out of my way to help any of you out, as long as I wasn't busy and it didn't require me to do anything that involved work or being outside of my home and as long as you reimbursed me in the form of money (or sex if your a hot chick), ANYTHING!

But despite all that, no one goes back and reads my first couple of posts, arguably the only funny thing I have ever posted. Ever.

you know I spoil you guys.

No comments:

Post a Comment