Wednesday, September 25, 2013


I hear so much shit about gluten being awful lately. I have news for you. It isn't, in fact, it is not only delicious, but awesome as well.

So many people shit on gluten because they think they have celiacs disease or that they are allergic to it. If that is the case then why aren't people with bee allergies on massive campaigns to find bee alternatives.
Or lactose intolerant people flooding the streets preaching the dangers of milk. It has been sogging your cereal for years sheeple! Soy based alternatives on the other hand will leave your cereal crunchy for hours. Know what, I am pretty sure Hitler drank milk and i bet he liked bees.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Work In Progress

This is a Screw Art Portrait done in a similar style to the California based artist Andrew Myers. 
In total there are 6,451 screws. 

This is a commission and the portrait is of the customers grandmother. I also did the grandmother on the other side of her family in a string art fashion. 

Both of these still need the borders done as well as frames. 

It should be noted that this is my first time painting. 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Some other wood projects

I am thinking about mass producing these. Someone commissioned me to make a set of 6 for them and I had enough wood left over to make 3 other sets. I think they are pretty damn neat.

They sell online for 50 bucks plus shipping and handling but these ones that I make I feel are somewhat more detailed. I make each one by hand so it takes me a while but each pipe is half rounded like a real die whereas most ones I have seen are just flat ground.

I am also going to design a carrying bag for them. If you would like to purchase a set from me just leave a comment or contact me through this site (if I have a contact setup) Once I get a handle on my process I will organize a separate site for things.

I am thinking $45 for a set of 6 with bag, plus shipping and handling which is to be determined.

I also made this shop sign as a gift for a friend. I got the idea from someone who posted on a site I visit. This was the first time I ever tried hand carving letters and I was pleased with the results considering I only had a stanley fat max 3/4in bench chisel.

I am also willing to custom make shop signs to order, prices can be determined per project.

So if anyone wants to commission me to build them something just reply and we can start a dialogue. I am going on 3 years out of work due to my disability and the financial stress is enough to kill me. I am really not healthy enough to be doing this but Social Security has denied me and taken their sweet blessed time doing it so they have kinda forced my hand. It is either this or I don't eat.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

String art commission.

So, an extremely good friend of mine is a very talented hair stylist who opened her own shop a few years ago. She came to me to commission two pieces of art to go in her hair studio, One of her grandmother and one of her great grandmother. I think on both her mother and fathers side respectively. After toying around with a few mediums for a looong time, I decided to do it like this. 

It is an MDF backer board and 1.5 inch nails with black and pink thread. This was my first project in this style and I had a lot of fun. I still have another portrait to do but I think it will be in another style. 

If I had to do it again I would paint the background first. 

The farther back you are the better it looks. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Woodworking, sculpting and burning

I sold my first commissioned piece of furniture. It was not supposed to be anything really special so the materials list consisted of just Pressure Treated Pine. The more I did to it the more conscious it became. It didn't end up perfect but it was much more than I had planned.

Just an outdoor potting bench

I hand crafted some details on the L-brackets.

The clients initials along with her husband.

Taken from as far back as I could stand in my shop.

Remember, I am available to work on commission.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

My cherry is broken. I present Casey Jones

This is the first mask I have ever made. I have no idea whether I followed the proper procedure or even a coherent procedure but all in all I am very proud of my final piece and so is the person I made it for. 

I doubt this work would stand up against that of a professionals but I really need to learn to stop trying to compare my work with others. There will always be someone better than I am all I can do is try and learn from each experience. 

With that I present to you most of my experience in making this mask. (commentary will be below the pics)

The sculpt is out of WED clay and it sits on a store bought costume hockey mask. In retrospect the mask was unnecessary. 

Made the box ready for the next step, then decided to add some scarring. 

Said scarring.

Used silicone RTV to capture detail. I also was using Bondo to construct the actual mask and I was not sure if rubber or latex would hold up to it. Plus it peels right off. 

The step you do not see is the plaster being poured over the cured silicone to give the mold rigidity. This was after everything was cured and the box removed and excess silicone removed. 

The plaster backing.

The two pieces side by side purely for visuals.

Here is a pic showing how much silicone I had to trim. This is because it leaked under the clay form during the pour. A mistake I have learned from. 

Filled in the mold with bondo. I intentionally used a large amount of hardener so I could have it begin setting while I was moving it around thinking I would be able to push it about to make a thin layer as it hardened. I was wrong, it hardens not gradually but almost instantaneously when it is ready. In the future I will use less hardener and work the viscous natural material around a bit longer.   

I actually had already done a fair amount of sanding on this and then just set it back in place for a photo.

Getting cleaner.

And cleaner.

And paint and straps are done. 

Couldn't decide which lighting looked better. 

In the end there are a few things I would have done differently. I would have loved to be able to degas my liquids but I do not poses the equipment. I think I should spend more time on the initial sculpt, though I was on a time crunch I do think it is better to have a high quality smooth master then to try to sand everything out of the final. 

Overall I am very pleased with my first piece, I hope someday to be able to produce the quality work of people like Volpin Props but until I have more work and practice those days are long ahead of me. 

If you would like a custom piece please contact me, my prices will reflect that of someone who is not quite yet a professional, but I am not giving the stuff away either. 

Thank you all for reading. 

Friday, August 31, 2012

Simple Art

Sometimes it's the simplest ideas that yield he most intriguing results.

Case in point, one of my most recent artistic projects.

I saw this on a site called Pinterest. I simply shaved a bunch of Crayons with a lemon zester, placed the shavings on a canvas, covered with waxed paper and ironed on the lowest setting.


Bit of a glare but I assure you it looks pretty damn nice in person. I especially like the way the wax paper leaves ripples behind. 

Try it for yourself 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Is anything really interesting?

For the purposes of this posting I am going to be excluding any kind of scientific discoveries and revelations. I find that most everything science can offer us brings us closer to the edge of supernatural. However, for this I will be speaking of only things that are known right now to be of paranormal origin.

I have always considered myself a "believer", as a child and young adult I was fascinated with the idea that otherworldly things such as ghosts, demons and extraterrestrials could be among us on this planet. Everything I looked at I viewed with the eyes of a child willing to believe that something deeper lurked behind our surface observations. Every single thing brought me joy because nothing was impossible, I wanted to, and did, believe that there was the absolute possibility that strange things could be explained by supernatural phenomenon.

Then something happened. I became obsessed with knowledge. I educated myself about every topic I could get my hands on. I even sought out the facts and science behind some of the most amazing things that had always held my interest before. I looked into all kinds of ghost sightings and UFO footage desperately trying to tie in the science behind them and prove definitively that some things defied earthly explanations.

Sadly, I could not. Every story, every rumor seemed to lead to a reasonable and logical earthly explanation. Either things were flat out hoaxes or simply misidentified natural occurences. My child like enthusiasm toward the paranormal quickly turned to intense skepticism. I felt like a large part of my background and upbringing was slowly dying away and being replaced by a cynical and boring adult.

Things that I once would have looked at and whole heartedly believe was occult or supernatural were now viewed as simple airplane lights misidentified or electro magnetic interference or just flat out lies. Everything had a mundane explanation. The more I would seek out something to prove me wrong the more my bright eyed optimism turned to distrust and anger toward the people attempting to pass these things off as anything but normal.

Nowadays I hate the person I have become. I truly believe that there is nothing about our world that is interesting. Extraterrestrials may exist (and i believe they do) but I am convinced that they are not visiting us. Ghosts are not real, every instance of such sightings is easily explained away by either rational thought or scientific analysis. Perhaps some creatures like bigfoot exist, but even if they did it is just a creature based on normal physics and life. My once firm belief in the occult turned to a distrust of the practitioners and a feeling that anyone with half a brain could easily see that it was all garbage.

I think people want to believe there is more to life and that is why they believe this stuff. They know in a deep part of themselves that this stuff isn't real but they want so badly to believe that there is something more that they find themselves believing in things that they know they shouldn't.

I want proof. I want to see a ghost. I want to witness strange lights in the sky that can not be explained. I have nothing but time now due to my disability and I want so badly to prove myself wrong. I don't want it so badly that I am willing to believe something that is not true but I want proof.

Have you ever seen proof of the supernatural? Do you have video or photographic evidence? If so, show me  or tell me about it in the comments.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I Post Because I Care

 ...about myself!

One thing never ceases to amaze me. Bejeweled Blitz is such a simple game but one can employ a seemingly endless amount of tactics and strategies to maximize your score in the 60 seconds you have to match some gems.

I often wonder if there is a secret lab over at Popcap where they have every possible gem grid type laid out and every possible move you could make calculated and mapped on some super computer and they use it to cross reference our gaming performance to narrow down and zero in on the worlds greatest analytical minds.

Then I wonder if all the strategies that people employee are really just bullshit and the game and it's makers intended it to rely solely on speed and chance.

...Tell me, do you play? What strategies do you use? What other seemingly simple games do you know of that have a deep strategic user infrastructure?

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

My Social Life

I sometimes wish I had more of a social life so that I could take better advantage of the many features my Google Calendar has to offer.

As of now I just enter peoples birthdays that I don't even speak to or know and sync up as many holidays as I can find.

I will even go so far as to enter minor events that I have already done just so I can complete them and have it look like it isn't an empty month.

...Take out trash! -DONE.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

New Speaker Designs

I am in the process of designing and building some surrounds for the theater system I have been working on. So far I have only taken pencil to paper and some wire no saw to wood just yet.

Here are some pictures of the process.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Latest and greatest. Custom Chess Board and Pieces

I decided one day, on a whim, without having finished any of my previous projects that I was going to make myself a nice custom chess set. 

I grade a hunk of scrap wood and started whittling away little chunks with my slightly dull knife. After an hour or two I had a minor epiphany and thought that if I did it out of clay I would end up having to make significantly fewer. 

So only two hours into my newest project which cut in front of all others I was already looking for shortcuts. 

Either way, I am having fun. None of the pieces are done. What you see in the pictures that follow are ideas that I am playing around with. I thought if I sculpted a normal chess piece and then manipulated it I would better be able to "pull" the new character from the clay. It is slow going but since it is for me I am in no hurry. 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Sometimes, when I am checking out some hardcore pornography I stop and wonder what kind of crafts are on pinterest. Then I go check them out and forget I was about to jack off.