Monday, May 30, 2011

Gunslinger Girl Live.

If anyone is gifted in the way of the video camera I would like to put together a live action Gunslinger Girl short.

I would like to nominate myself for the part of Jose.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Hey look, My First Post

Everyone on Omegle is an Idiot.

I love that one.

For some reason, there is like, no traffic to my original posts. Most were concerning my encounters on Omegle. When I first got sick and started staying home form work I would find some solace in talking to people online. Well, sort of. I don't have friends, so I went searching for company to fill the room with noise. What I found was a cesspool of horny degenerate morons (myself included). I would encounter so many humorous situations that i would have sworn that people were setting them up.

Sadly, they were not. I started capping the conversations I thought were funny and that is when I decided to open this page. I guess originally it was going to be a humor site for Omegle funnies. I had a few saved up. I started posting and I gotta say, I was a little surprised when I didn't immediately garner the praise of hundreds upon thousands of followers. I mean, I literally made my first post and then watched the stats page for the imminent influx of worshipers who were sure to see how humorous and insightful I was.

Dumbfounded by the lack of media attention and critical acclaim I resorted to booze and sobbing into my comforter as I tried to sleep away the humiliation of my failure.

Strangely enough, I did manage to see a few readers after I sold my soul and my house and a 1993 American Fender P-Bass as well as my first born daughter to Satan. I also did some promoting that I am not too proud of in the form of a 4chan blogger thread.

I grew to love my handful of readers. Although I don't know any of your names or faces or your likes or dislikes or even bother to comment back on your pages, I do love you! I would die for you guys. Well, maybe not die, but I would allow myself to come to serious harm for you... Actually come to think of it I probably wouldn't do that either, but I would definitely go out of my way to help any of you out, as long as I wasn't busy and it didn't require me to do anything that involved work or being outside of my home and as long as you reimbursed me in the form of money (or sex if your a hot chick), ANYTHING!

But despite all that, no one goes back and reads my first couple of posts, arguably the only funny thing I have ever posted. Ever.

you know I spoil you guys.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

My Six Month Anniversary

Ok, I have had this page up since December of 2010. I don't know at what point I started posting regularly but between Amazon and Google ads I have made a total of $32.50. Since the 2.50 is from Amazon and it is below their payout threshold and the 30 is also too low to pay I don't actually have it, but I assure you I have earned that money fair and square.

Of course my out of pocket expense for living now that I don't have a job is close to 900 bucks/month I am technically operating at a loss but I am still going to chalk this one down in the win column.
Any day now this is going to pop off and I am going to be living like a king, ...LIKE A KING.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Social media experts are the cool kids at retard camp.

I think this guy hit it pretty straight on. The commenters are imbeciles but the OP makes a very good point.

Why I will never hire a "Social Media Expert"

I also hate SEO specialists, the word BLOG, anything prefixed by "cyber", the term "hacker" or "to hack", people who make "lists" of things they hate, the overuse of quotations, poor spellars, and when people use the word "ignorant" incorrectly.

My dogs

Vigilantly keeping a watchful eye for suspicious activity.
...and squirrels.

Trying not to trip over her own feet. (really clumsy)
She was sooo malnourished when we got her. Now she is nice and healthy.

When they first met. (the whit/brown Jack Russell is older and we have had him longer)

Now they get along.

Sand Art

I don't get the opportunity to go to the beach as often as I like, so this particular craft of mine suffers quite a bit. I just started doing it on a whim two seasons ago. I asked my son if he wanted to make sand sculptures, he said yes, I asked what to make, he said a robot. The radio was my idea. I used a butter knife and a straw.

Seemed fitting since the weather is getting warmer.

Monday, May 23, 2011


Spent a good portion of the morning sharpening my knives and I barely got through a quarter of them.

I am not a professional blade sharpener, I have seen it taken to a pretty serious extreme, but I can put a pretty damn fine edge on a blade. I mean, I am a step above someone who is better than average but far below that of a seasoned sharpener.

I have a pretty nice collection of wet stones and diamond plates, also some diamond pastes, granite block, some steels, honing solutions, some handmade surface blocks with assorted sandpaper grits around glass, some jewelers loupes, and some serrated files. You know nothing serious.

Anyway, After a morning well spent I managed to get some of my daily carries back up to speed as well as a new set of throwers I recently bought.

I never go anywhere without at least a knife on me. I remember going into school to pick up my son and one of the teachers saw the knife in my pocket and told me that I couldn't bring it into the school, I looked at her and said "what makes you think I am any less dangerous without it?" Then my son came down the hall and we left. I still carry it every day and no one has ever said anything to me again about it. Though, i'm not an ass when I go there, so there is really no reason for anyone to confront me.

If I can kill you with a knife, I can kill you without one.

I need a friend

Just fill out this questionnaire and we can get started having all kinds of raucous adventures together.

     Are you an idiot?  ____Yes   ____No  ____Maybe

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My New Favorite Obsession

Every bit as impressive as the first.

I recommend buying at least 3 copies of each that way you can play no matter where you are and you will have extras in case you lose one or two.

(If you have adblock on or any kind of ad filtering service there are 3 amazon ads for Portal 2 above all this text. I would truly be forever grateful if you disabled it for my site as I need the revenue that they generate to buy medicine and beer.)

I have been running through test chambers like a man addicted. I will not say anything about anything in the game because I have already heard far too many spoilers for my tastes and I wouldn't dare commit the same atrocities towards my readers. Portal 2 is ...great. I don't know what else to say. I could come up with some witty diatribe about how awesome I think it is, but words have lost there meanings from overuse and all I can think of is to say go buy it and play it.

Actually, play through Portal first to freshen up. Play it all the way to the end, then play Portal 2. I think you may get a bit more enjoyment that way. You don't have to, but I did and I think it was worth it. Started playing the old half-life series again as well and i am thinking of jumping back into Team Fortress also.

Here is a link to The orange box for those who don't own the first one. If you are going to get it and are a reader here, please consider buying through me. Also, if you go through any of these links, check to make sure you are getting the best deal with shipping and price, sometimes the first thing amazon shows you isn't always the cheapest when shipping is factored in.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I'll catch the next one.

Been pretty sick lately. Couldn't get to the updates I wanted to do. Which blows because after watching a few months of trends it appears that the only way traffic stays up and consistent is if I post multiple times per day with quality content. I mean, I can post 800 times per day it's just the quality part that gets me.

Also I noticed that Posts that I think are great and will do really well go completely unnoticed, but shit that I think is a stretch to even put up gets the most views with the most positive response. Maybe my idea of quality is off a little.

What do you think?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Nailed it!

Made this because I am a huge Henrietta fan. If you like her then you are welcome. If you want a custom one of your own for any of the other girls just leave a message.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

An understatement in class

You will not hear me utter the word epic very often. It was a great idea at first but unfortunately it's intensity was raped and murdered by 11 year olds on xbox live.
I think it should be reserved only for the truly deserving atrocities in our beautiful world.

...and with that I give you all the most epic album covers of all time. This may be very old to some of you, but to those who have never seen them, ...

You really have to appreciate the gentle subtext of the aura given off by the very subtle use of the outer glow effect.

With this one you have to really look deep to see exactly how much thought went into the very loose arrangement and composition of the bears, which, I am being told, is a play on his name "Big Bear".
Very clever.

What's really impressive is that these album covers manage to convey the exuberant life of the gangsta rapper in a very classy understated manner.

I can't fit it all in.

That's what she said. 

I can't fit everything I use into one shot.

For those of you who have asked to see my work area. I am not happy unless I am surrounded.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A past time to pass the time

One of my semi favorite activities is trying to bring a slight amount of couthe and refinement to the otherwise vapid underworld of Omegle. I don't know why I do it, but I do.

If you hurry, you can catch me there now.

Today's mystery question for the masses:

             "What do parsley and sage have to do with a sickle of leather?"

The answer of course is a reference to the ancient song "Scarborough Fair" The meaning has been debated for quite some time but I am just going to go looking for anyone that may actually have a little class and has heard the song.

So if you are heading over and you have a conversation starting out with this question, Congratulations, you have just struck conversational gold.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Different DNA

I am pretty snobbish when it comes to music. Not that I rub my musical preferences in others faces all holier than thou, rather snobbish in the sense that I don't like very much. Music is deeply personal to me so I only listen to things that move me on a level that goes beyond just moving me to motion.

I have been a musician for as long as I could remember. My love of music is so deep and personal to me that I never share anything I make on my own. I have been in bands before, but while everyone was pushing for success, I was just as happy to sit in a recording studio and just pump out something for us to listen to.

People often react very shocked when I tell them that I don't listen to a lot of music, then equally as surprised when I know about all the different music going on around me. I don't much care for the classic musicians of our time like Floyd and Zeppelin. That is not to say that I think they are bad, I just don't care for it. People can never understand the distinction between disliking something and thinking it is terrible.

I have loved songs from artists that I hate as well as hate songs from artists that I love.

I never listen to the radio, I was not raised on the classics and my preferential spectrum is pretty narrow. When it comes to actual musical exposure, despite being a musician, I am quite sheltered.

This ocassionaly leads to a scenario where I inevitably get suckered into sharing some of my creations with people. "wow this sounds like pink floyd, you must really be a fan" ...nope, never heard anything from them but their radio stuff and its not really my thing. "how can you say that, this sounds just like it and you made it" ...this was a mistake.


"wow, your playing is very jazz influenced, do you listen to a lot of jazz" nope, none really. "but you play like a jazz guy would play" I don't really listen to much, most of what I do is just what I feel is appropriate for the music I hear.

Sometimes I look at my total musical ignorance as one of my strongest assets, I feel like what I do is untainted with the soils of someone else style. Then I realize that is impossible. Playing inst just influenced by others music, it draws inspiration from everything. I am also pretty sure that I mimic a lot of what I hear but am just not consciously aware of it (I put this here to avoid people contacting me with counterpoints. I know, I am just not touching on them.).

So, to actually get to a point here. Music is a bit different for me. I am sure everyone takes music in in a different way. This is how it is for me. It must speak to the very core of my being before I will even consider it to be something I enjoy.


Every once and a while I get a little surprise. An artist (or two) that I totally despise on that deep emotional level will put something out and just rock me. I could give less of a fuck about what the rest of the world thinks of things I like so it doesn't bother me when it happens, even knowing that I had spoken out negatively against this particular artist in the past.

Katy Perry.
I do not find her attractive.
I do not care for the quality of her talent.
I would never expect to have a song of hers in my "deep" playlist
But wouldn't you know.

I don't care what the song is really about. I know what I hear when I listen to it.

...and I like it.